“I began to understand that the goal of psychic development is the self. There is no linear evolution; there is only a circumambulation of the self. Uniform development exists, at most, at the beginning; later, everything points toward the centre. This insight gave me stability, and gradually my inner peace returned.”
CARL JUNG MEMORIES, DREAMS, REFLECTIONS
The concept of kodawari, essentially being the best you can be, is most often applied to the development of a craft. These are the projects—or career paths—that we get obsessed with and devote our focused energy towards. But as you zoom out, you might realize that there is a more encompassing mission that is driving you: the path of self-development. It is the drive to keep yourself constantly evolving towards an ideal. But this path is not a straight line—it is instead what Carl Jung called a circumambulation.
Circumambulation
Actually, most types of human development tend to circumambulate. My development in music has never been a straight line. Neither has my development as a person. Why is this? It’s because as you travel you also change. So you wouldn’t even want your development to map out as a straight line—it would mean that you never performed any course corrections along the way.
And course corrections are good. They indicate that your updated self has a better idea about where to aim. Because as you approach what you thought you were aiming at, you see it more clearly. You realize that your model of it was low-resolution—it didn’t account for some crucial details. But you have more wisdom now, and it forces you to update your GPS settings. Reality put some hard limitations on your previous path, and you have to aim somewhere else now.
What do I mean by aiming? It means that something is grabbing your attention, something is pulling your interest. This happens all the time in the physical world when an object entices us to reach for it. Our brains are fundamentally wired this way—to be attracted to or repelled by things. But with regards to your future self, the aim is not a discrete object. It’s more like a vague psychological concept of potential. You haven’t worked out the details, but you have an instinctual feeling of where you should aim.
Okay, so what might be the ultimate thing to aim at, to circumambulate towards?
How about aiming at who you could be? Hopefully, you are not completely satisfied with who you are. There are at least a few things you could probably do today to improve. But ultimate improvement—actually achieving your full potential—is an intimidating project. Where the hell do you start?
The Labyrinth of Circumambulation
The problem is that you probably don’t know where to start, but you have to move somewhere. So you start to move in a chaotic way as best you can. Then you make too many mistakes and get stuck. You have to make a course correction in order to continue. This process repeats and repeats, and eventually, you realize that the chaotic path is actually circling something. You can’t define it but you can feel a magnetic pull towards the center.
This is the psychological conception of circumambulation that Carl Jung wrote about. The word generally refers to the act of moving around a sacred object and is present in many religions. Psychologically, though, you can think of the path as being like a labyrinth:
Or as Jung described it:
“The way to the goal seems chaotic and interminable at first, and only gradually do the signs increase that it is leading anywhere. The way is not straight but appears to go in circles.”
Carl jung
Circumambulate the Center with Kodawari
Approaching a project or a craft with kodawari is one thing. It means that you are aiming at perfection and attending to the details. It’s a great starting point, and the momentum will encourage more and more kodawari.
But having a kodawari approach to life is the real goal. It means that you are applying this perfectionist energy towards the ultimate project of circumambulation. You are aiming at your ideal—who you could be— in a steadfast and committed way. You don’t know who you could be (or if success is possible), but you don’t need to justify the effort in some grandiose way. Respect for kodawari is enough, it can be your axiom.
In circumambulating, perhaps it is a leap of faith to insist that there even is a center. Maybe it’s all made up. Perhaps the center is a vague conception of who you would be if you developed maximally. But you can’t define it or penetrate it. You can only think about it, only move around it. You spiral around the center trying to see it from different angles—sometimes closer and sometimes far away. And instinct of meaning kicks in when you feel closer to the center. And when far from the center, you might feel ashamed of the mistakes that led you there. This is the path though.
The Temptation of Nihilism
Kodawari, as a life philosophy, can give you the discipline to keep going no matter what—to keep your sight set on the transcendent ideal. It is attempting to do your best at everything you do, even if you know ahead of time that you will fail. It requires optimism that, despite short-term failures, you will move closer to the center in the long run.
But optimism isn’t easy. The reality of our situation is that much of life is both mysterious and tragic: we don’t understand the universe or our place within it. And consciousness itself—your experience of understanding these very words—is fundamentally still a mystery. On top of that, everyone dies and will experience suffering along the way. Nihilism, on a small and large scale, is therefore always tempting us.
And serious people should struggle with nihilism. It’s a result of taking the deep questions about life seriously. When you’re willing to look at the world honestly—to look at your own mind honestly—it’s not always easy to find a happy conclusion.
But succumbing to nihilism—giving up on your ideal—only makes life worse. It leads to a life of distraction, and it is, unfortunately, the easier path. Because staying connected to that deeper part of yourself—the part that seeks answers and wants to live in a meaningful, honest, and ethical way—comes packaged with a certain amount of sadness. There’s true darkness in honestly contemplating the human condition, and you have to be willing to deal with that. It’s a more difficult path, but it’s infinitely more meaningful.
Kodawari as a Philosophy of Life
In our article exploring the philosophy of Stoicism, we stressed the importance of having a philosophy of life to guide you. And I’ve found that this kodawari philosophy of self-development is one option that is strong enough to combat the dark moments. Marcus Aurelius, in his Meditations, said this about one’s personal philosophy:
“Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy, for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready too—ready to understand heaven and earth.”
Marcus Aurelius Meditations
So for me, the zoomed-out concept of kodawari is to apply it to circumambulation— to the quest of life itself. You engage with, instead of hiding from, the deeper parts of yourself that seek answers and truth. You want there to be a jewel at the center of the maze, but either way, you will assume that there is and take the quest seriously.
Even though the path is wandering, it is the honest attempt—knowing that you did your best—that can give your life meaning. What other choice do you have?
